A child's mindless rattle

A tooth-less rattle

Saturday, May 14, 2005
8:44 AM

Was sent out to the post office just now. The last time I did that, throughout the whole journey I was on the phone with her. Today, as I walk down the same road, I realized it wasn't as far as I thought. In fact, I enjoyed it, because I got to feel the warm sun on my face. (of course, it gets too hot, I start perspiring and that's when I start saying it's too darn hot to walk!)

Tomorrow's the first weekend I'm spending alone. I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe cook, swim, a movie then booze at nite? haha. Minus the booze for the time being. I want a healthy lifestyle! My mood has lifted slightly. But I'm also quite sure, tonight will be a rough night. Hang in there, just one more night, and it'll all be over. One more night, and you can move away from all these and start everything new. Hang in there.

I've been talking alot to myself lately. Little voices, little wisphers, and even loud shouts sometimes. Is this a sign of me with a pyschological problem? Or is this me, too lonely, needing a companion to talk with? Either way it doesn't really matter. I'll do anything to get back on tracks. Anything.

I started wondering how long it'll take for me to get back on tracks. 3 months? 6 months? Or even longer? Considering the amount of friends I have now, I think I'll prob take a year or so to get use to this whole thing. But I heard if I get through it, I'll be stronger. My first official growing process. Can't believe I'm making such a big whoo-haa out of this.

I want to watch the movie 'A lot like love'. A very corny romantic flick I heard. Not good for me to watch alone. I watched 'love actually' and 'hitched', and I remembered how much longing I had.. wanting to fall in love. I'm a love fool. Absolutely a love fool.

The End!